Dear Shame

Passage: Ezekiel 16:53-63

Ezekiel 16 is probably the most difficult chapter in what is decidedly a difficult book. What’s difficult about this chapter is the visceral language the prophet uses to describe the unfaithfulness of God’s people. Ezekiel uses two metaphors to describe Israel and Judah. The first is that of an infant abandoned at birth. Ezekiel describes in detail the state of this infant before God finds her, cleans her, and nurtures her. The second metaphor is that of a beloved bride who becomes adulterous – indiscriminately giving herself to anyone who comes knocking. Through the prophet God is describing the tendency of people, and nations, to seek comfort, solace and fulfillment in cheap substitutes: money; physical pleasure; social/political influence; military might. God is saying, “These are the lovers you’re inviting in my place.” What God offers, again and again, is the true comfort, security, and intimacy for which every person hungers. God identifies each of our tendency to look past him to lovers that are a little flashier; a little more exciting; offer more immediate gratification. Eventually God allows his people to suffer the consequences of that tendency.

But God doesn’t give up on us. At the end of Ezekiel 16 God says, “I will never forget the covenant I made to take you in, provide for you and love you. I will return to this covenant not because you deserve it, but because my love is limitless.
“When I return to you," says God, "you will finally feel the shame you should have felt when you were running around on me. You’ll finally recognize what you became. Perhaps one day you’ll see yourself through the lens of my perfect love for you. When you do, you’ll grieve the shameless way you discarded me.”

We treat shame as a bad word. And yes, there are times when shame comes from the wrong place or is inappropriately assigned. In these cases shame becomes an oppressive barrier to health. Like any other innate instinct, however, shame has a place. Sometimes it tells us we aren’t living into the people we want to be. Sometimes it tells us we aren’t living according to a valuable set of rules or standards. Sometimes it tells us we have fallen short in a commitment or obligation to a loved one. People who know no shame are capable of doing great damage to themselves and their relationships. Sometimes the restoration of shame is the first step toward the restoration of self-love; of dignity; and of loving relationship. When God promises to restore his people’s shame, God promises to restore them to a beloved and cherished status they’ll wish they’d never lost.